Influencing skills: why influence moves your career forward

This week, I was sitting next to someone I didn’t know, and the usual question came up: "What do you do for work?" Normally, I explain all about Behavioural Design, but this time, I cut to the chase and said, "I’m an expert in influence."

This usually raises an eyebrow or invites a dismissive look. But this week, I want to convince you that:

Your ability to influence others as a professional is key, it can move you forward in your career or keep you stuck.

Influence is often misunderstood. It’s not about manipulation. It’s a skill we all need because we influence others on a daily basis. Whether you’re getting someone to collaborate, sign off on something, come to the office, buy a product, or comply with a process, you’re influencing.

Influence is a basic human condition, and it’s pivotal for leaders, product owners, project managers, and really anyone who needs to get someone to do something. But how can you leverage it in the workplace?

Tip 1: Master Outside-In Thinking

The first step is mastering outside-in thinking. Really understand the other person's point of view. It’s not about you! Ask yourself: what drives them at work? What are they trying to achieve? What holds them back? What are their concerns? You can gather valuable insights into their decision-making process through informal chats or deeper conversations.

Tip 2: It’s Still Not About You

When you're trying to convince someone of your idea, plan, or product, don’t pitch it directly. Instead, frame it in a way that shows how it can help them achieve their goals in the workplace. You’ll know what they want from the insight you gained in Tip 1.

Tip 3: Remove the Barriers Finally, eliminate any barriers or concerns they may have about your plan. Address them head-on! Decision-making, even for leaders, can be uncertain. By giving them more control and addressing their hesitations, you make it easier for them to say yes.

I’ll leave you with an idea from Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference. He calls it tactical empathy: the deliberate effort to understand and put into words the other person’s perspective.

So, the next time you find yourself needing to influence someone at work, remember, it’s not about pushing your own agenda, but about stepping into their shoes.

Influence is about connection, understanding, and helping others see how what you’re proposing can truly benefit them. It’s a skill that, once mastered, can transform the way you lead, collaborate, and drive results.

And honestly, it’s something we can all get better at.

Sources: Voss, C. Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. (Concept of tactical empathy.)